Birds

So, Drama, Drama, Drama. The husband has been mad at me for a couple of days (which means not speaking to me at all.) A little stressful but I'll deal. This weekend he was supposed to go help his buddy move. In a different city. Friday he doesn't come home from work. I start to get worried. I text him a couple of times, thinking maybe he's working late. No answer. I call a couple of times, leaving worried voicemails with no response. I start calling family because I have no idea where he is and then it hits me....

He packed shit up Friday morning before work and took off for his buddy's a day early. Without telling me. Because he's mad.

WTF?

So, I've realized that various items of clothing are missing (and interestingly enough, his old phone with various friends numbers in it). And I track down his mom's number, still stressed out because I haven't gotten a response at all. He's there, munching burgers with her. I burst into relieved tears that he's okay, freaking her out, and just tell her I'm glad to hear he's okay.

This morning I looked - he's pulled out money we don't have to fuck around down there and his payroll checks are sitting here in the house because he refused to deposit them. Rent is due on monday. This is also WTF. I still haven't heard from him directly. He still won't answer my calls.

This all came about because he kicked me out of the bedroom, laughed at me and when I slammed the door, sent a snotty text message about how I didn't need to break the door because I was mad. So I told him to fuck off and called him an arrogant pig. Now he refuses to have anything to do with me.

Isn't life wonderful?

If I died in my sleep right now, this week, I'd be happy. Which would be the first time in a long time that I would be happy.

Silence

Things have gotten to a point that I'm thinking of moving in to the garage. How desperate is that? I just don't know what else to do. I'd have to clean out the garage, mind you, and it's full up. I'm so fed up I'm thinking of cleaning the garage out to live in because the house situation is so stressful. And I have no where else to go. There is no place I can go and shut the door and be alone.

I've been relegated to doing anything I want to do on the loveseat in the living room. Which is going to have to change because it is the entertainment center for the husband and he cannot handle having people interrupt him while he's watching his "shows." That was the drama this evening. B.S. came home and said hi while he was watching his shows. And he was rude. So she got pissed. And I'm in the middle again. And if I'm sitting here, occasionally I will say something, which is now basically prohibited.

I house sat this weekend. It was quiet, peaceful and not a bit stressful. I dreaded coming back because I felt better this weekend away from the house than I've felt in a long while. I was right to be concerned because it started right back in as soon as I got back. Tomorrow I'm traveling around for work. And I'm looking forward to it. I don't know how to live like this, I just don't. It'll kill me.

I've got to figure something out or I'll lose my mind.

Fans

I've been remiss in blogging for while, as I'm sure anyone who actually reads this has noticed. I've been depressed. Strike that - I am depressed. My chest hurts from the stress. That ache you get when you want to let loose screaming and crying and carrying on. The hell of trying to figure out why you need to get out of bed. The sure and certain knowledge that no one understands you, no one needs you. It is horrible. And yet, there's no way I know of right now to get out of it. I made a promise once to never do anything stupid, if you ken my meaning there, and I keep my promises.

But it is so very hard.

Easy Street

There has been a revived interest in the house of resuming our walks in the evenings. And the city park is fairly close and has some excellent trails it looks like (for a free city park). Only not when it's this hot. Blargh. I've got my little redneck watercooler fan setup going. (Lots of ice in a metal bowl in front of a little fan.) It isn't going to cool the house like, say, central frickin' air or anything, but at least it keeps myself a little cooler.

And what is with companies saving money by roasting customers out of their stores because the A/C isn't on? WTF. I don't want to work up a sweat just because I'm shopping in your roasting ass store. Dude, the amount of money they lose because people come in and then walk right back out because it's stifling? Would pay for the damned air. (One of the employees told me they'd seen people leave because it was miserable to be there.)

I have the day off tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it. There will be laundry and lounging and dishes and lounging and internet surfing and lounging AT THE SAME TIME. It's too damned hot outside for anything else. I hate, hate, HATE the hot weather. I'm a delicate flower and do not enjoy not being able to cool off at all, no matter how indecent I get. At least when it's cold I can make a blanket fort and huddle in my sweatshirts to warm up.

P.S. The B*tchy Sibling's significant other shall now be known here as D. C. for Douche Canoe.

Dilruba

Terribly exciting evening. I've been surfing the internet since Beloved Husband is sacked out. He's been working hard and getting up ungodly early in the morning so I don't blame him. It has just been hard to get to spend any time with him. Shades of my father - he comes home, eats, and tries not to fall asleep on the couch. In this case and at this time, I understand it better.

I also have B*tchy Sibling that is living with us for now, and dude, the crazy just never stops. It is like having a teenager in the house again, what with the taking of things that aren't theirs (borrowing or out right lying about taking), the holing up in their room, the tantrums and lack of chores-sharing in the house. Oy. I'm hoping that the signifcant other eventually does get dropped (like they were supposed to in the first place which caused this whole crisis in the first place) but I'm not holding my breath. The BS's SO is a douche canoe. I don't like SO's treatment of BS but it's not my life so I'm watching from the sidelines and occasionally adding my two cents when I can get away with it.

Also looking for more work to supplement what I've already got but I haven't had much luck there. I wish sometimes that I could be paid to stay home on the internet but most of those jobs I've seen are scams. All of them, as a matter of fact. So out and about I go, applying where I can.

Updatery complete.

Music

So, I've been following amanda fucking palmer on twitter and I find I rather like her, as a person and not just as a musician. She has amazing strength of will and force of personality (and amazing eyebrows.) Here just on the 11th, she married Neil Gaiman in NOLA with Jason Webley presiding and there's a gorgeous photo on her twitter feed. Not officially, but for really anyway.

I think it is an awesome thing. I think she is extraordinarily lucky to have found someone who gets her so completely. And she's gone back on tour with Brian Viglione, the other half of The Dresden Dolls. (They are the best punk cabaret group in existence.) Support them, go to concerts, buy merch from their website (not anywhere else so they get the profits.)

And one other thing. She makes me want to be real. Really real. Speak my mind and live my life the way I want to live it. Be creative, be loyal, be free, be crazy or sane. Make my decisions without being afraid all the time of what the world might think.

Be my own fucking self.

Thanks, Amanda.

Reading...

Ghosts of Manhattan by George Mann. Think Batman. Think steampunk. Think prohibition era. Got it all in your head? Add a dash of fantasy and mash it all together. Sprinkle in a bit of The Spirit. TADA! You've got this book.

I know that sounds horrible but really, it's a good book. The author blends all these together in a seamless noir/punk story that keeps you hooked.

6/10

I just finished another book - Ash by Malinda Lo. It's a Cinderella story, but not like any Cinderella story you've read before. Ash is entranced by fairies, she reads the stories and she roams the Woods looking for them after her mother dies and her stepmother moves in. She also meets the King's Huntress, who shows her how to live again. But the fairies have found Ash and they may never let her go.

7/10

Disclaimer: I bought these books and I'm not being compensated in any way for mentioning them here on my blog.

Traveling

The husband is traveling. It has been especially nice when he's been home. And when he's gone, I'm packing and working and lounging around watching t.v. It will be soon. Soon I will be out of this little city that I hate with a passion of a thousand suns. I'll be closer to family and I know they are looking forward to it. So am I, as a matter of fact. I miss being able to go and do with family members. As hard as I've tried, friends never really happened here. There was just too much of a difference. People around here are very closed off. Maybe because it's a college town. Too much distrust.

By the end of December, I'll be somewhere else. I cannot wait.

Interesting

I went out at the crack of dawn to work and came home an hour later and went back to bed. I've got several merchandising jobs and this particular company is horrible. They don't support their people on the jobs, they don't train worth a darn, they don't have the right documentation for the jobs they send people out on, and so-on and so-forth. I don't think I'll keep this one, especially since they merged with another company. And? 1990 is calling and they want their website back people. Seriously, of the merchandising jobs I have, this is the worst website I've seen. It looks like an escapee of geocities. All it needs is a flashing banner. Oy.

Also, watching Criminal Minds tonight and after that Storm Chasers. I'm also finishing Jim Butcher's Side Jobs. It has a story/novella in it set after Changes. I'm not going to say more except buy it, it is worth it.

Note: I buy, borrow and beg books. Side Jobs = bought. I don't get paid for this stuff.

Turkey

So, I've not been decorating since moving here. But now, I've started putting little stuffed animals around on my desk that relate to the current season. Now, I have a turkey. Last month it was a little bat and two Hello Kitty plushes. I like it, it makes me feel more connected to whats going on. And the plus is it doesn't interfere with the husband's stuff.

Oh, and they're cute.

Om nom nom...

Food. Yum. Simple cheese and tortillas with salsa. Husband is still at work, which is a bit of a bummer since his day off will be the two days I'm working.

Still reading the Sookie Stackhouse books and I've got one more before I'm pretty much caught up on all the paperbacks. I'll have to track down the short stories next and that shouldn't be too hard. Harris seems to write in anthologys with Jim Butcher so there will be at least two good stories in there.

Work continues to be a pain in my posterior since it seems management can't help but not just stick with the rules. The company has a dress code. You do not get to alter that to your satisfaction. Get over yourself.

Teh Winner of teh Intertubes

Been watching drama unfold on a copyright issue all day. Fascinating.

Work sucks.

Husband has new job, partner/so-called-trainer is epic fail.

That is all.

And Reading...

More Charlaine Harris. I am vastly amused. As soon as I finish the series, I'm going to read Side Jobs by Jim Butcher. It is calling me.

Surprise!

The Husband is home for the evening. We Rockbanded and have been working on laundry (his) so he's ready to go tomorrow bright and early. It is nice to have him around every now and again.

The cat wants to be fed so I'm off.

Happy Day of the Dead!

So Much Going On...And Not

So, the husband got a new job. And we will be moving ... to another part of the state which is totally fine with me. But now he's gone all the time, which is a bummer. But we have money, which is great. But I'm going to have to try and transfer, which sucks. But I don't necessarily need this job, which suits me just fine. But now I need to pack up stuff, which totally blows.

Highs and lows, as you can see.

Also, I'm reading the Sookie Stackhouse books. And I can't put them down. Totally recommend for entertainment purposes only.


Disclaimer: I bought the damn books, lay off. I don't get paid to mention this shit and either I buy, borrow or get from the library.

Books, 2010

23. Heart of Veridon by Tim Akers. Thumbs up. I can't wait to get a hold of the next in the series which will be The Horns of Ruin out in November.


Disclaimer: I don't get anything for these little blurbs, get over it. Books are my own or borrowed from various people or the library.

Much Watching Of Netflix

I've spent an impressive amount of time watching Anthony Bourdain. It's a good distraction from trying to find a place to live that doesn't suck.

A TON.

Like, windows that don't shut, holes in the walls, dirty cabinets and dishes left behind, yards filled with tires. And these are places run by property management companies. The other side of the coin is crappy places that charge way too much renting by individuals with the same problems. Nasty. I'm sure eventually I'll find something since the local college has had graduation so places will empty out.

Now to find a place that will take a cat. Shoot me now.

Oh, and books

21. Spellwright by Blake Charlton - Awesome, can't wait for the next one. Take a young man on a quest and make good stuff happen, twists, turns, and standing things on its head.

22. Soulless by Gail Carriger - Also teh AWESOME. Amelia Peabody gone paranormal. The second book, Changeless, is just as good with what I would consider a cliffhanger ending and I am stalking the book store for the third, which comes out in September. (Blameless) w00t! Brand new series to collect!

Books Post

17. Ecobeauty - Not too bad, I might track down a copy used.

18. Black Magic Sanction by Kim Harrison - Good stuff. I have got to pick up the books I'm missing in the series. There was one I didn't much like and it threw me off reading the rest of the series for a while, I'm glad I picked it back up again.

19. Black Ships by Jo Graham. The reviews I read on this book weren't very good, but I'd have to say they were wrong. I liked the take of history she used in the book, the point of view and all that good stuff.

20. The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag. I am fond of this series. It has an odd little charm that keeps me coming back to it. I'm looking forward to the next one in the series.

Books, 2010

13. The Blood King - Gail Z. Martin
14. Dark Haven - Gail Z. Martin
15. The Ages of Chaos - Marion Zimmer Bradley
16. Farm City - Novella Carpenter

Currently reading: The Fall of Neskaya by Marion Zimmer Bradley and Deborah J. Ross

Books, 2010

10. Liar by Justine Larbalestier
11. Stalking the Vampire by Mike Resnick
12. Julian by Gore Vidal

Working on a series now.