Oblivious

/Rant

It's not rocket science people. Hell, its not even science. Don't park your grocery cart in the middle of the aisle, walk ten feet away and expect me to wait on your slow waddling ass to check the price of every detergent and then whip out your calculator to compare prices while I stand ever-so-patiently behind your effin' cart waiting for you to waddle back and move on down the aisle at a snails pace looking like a damn tourist to the Vatican. Get your soap and move your ass woman!

Don't run me over with your grocery cart trying to beat me to the canned foods where you will promptly stop and block the whole aisle (sideways no less) to get one can of pearl onions. Why in the heck you'd want those is beyond me. Let me pass you so you can catch up to me at the end of the aisle where I'm trying to jump out in traffic that makes rush hour in Oakland, CA look tame and ride my ass until I want to take that frozen dinner out of your cart and beat you to death with it.

Understand that if I am pulled over to the side of an aisle, it is okay to pass. Don't stop right next to me or a foot in front of me and block my exit while you argue with your wife about which laxitive works better for the both of you and if you can get it in bulk. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS. Move along, nothing to see here.

When I've finally beaten back the horde that has arrived at the checkstand and manage to make it to my car without being run over by the same nearsighted dude who is still probably arguing with his wife about the quality control of X Lax, DO NOT lean up against my car while I am in reverse waiting for them to move from behind me at that same snails pace I mentioned before.

What posesses you to think I am going to patiently wait for you to get OFF my car? Hello? Proper car etiquette does not mention, I'm sure, the power of the pedestrian that thinks since they can't get into their car RIGHT NEXT TO ME that it's okay to keep backing up and bumping into mine so that I have no way to PULL OUT of their way.

I swear, I WILL pull out the stupid stick and beat you until you take a hint.

/END RANT